sprwmngmlnd:

083014

Ano ba. First monthsary dapat namin ni bebe ko kahapon. Kase diba we’re married na. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAROT. Nalimutan kong i-celebrate. Kaya pala parang may nalimutan ako. Syempre keme lang. Naaalala ko naman siya parati. Pero siguro parating special na pag dadating yung 30 kase happiest day of my life yun so far eh. Kainis. I love you.


sprwmngmlnd:

Halos lahat siguro nakaramdam ng relief nung nalamang suspended ang klase ngayon, pero ako hindi! Dapat kase ngayon na yung performance namin tas na-postponed pa. Fota. Ngayon lang ako hindi natuwa sa suspension! Huhuhu. Nakakapanlumo seryoso. Kase ang aga aga namin don, tas malalaman naming suspended. Tapos ang daming nagtetext, tumatawag at nagtatanong kung ano nang mangyayari sa prod namin kase ang tagal namin yung pinromote tas ganto lang :((((( Sabi nila may purpose daw si God kung bakit to nangyari. Kaso di ko makita yung purpose ngayon wahtttt. Syempre ganyan iisipin ko kase disappointed ako at frustrated at pagod at nanghihinayang at lahat lahat na, mixed emotions na huhu. Pano na kase yung theater. Full pa naman na yung sched ng buong sept hanggang oct sht. Yoko na. Hindi mauuwi sa wala lahat ng effort namin ha! 50k din nagastos namin then one month preparation. Nakakapagod, tas nauubusan na kami pera tas ganyan lang. Ang shit talaga! 

08/26/14


sprwmngmlnd:

Pagod na pagod na ‘ko. Physically and emotionally..

Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako humuhugot ng lakas ng loob para humarap sa mga tao nang hindi nagrereklamo. Pakiramdam ko, ang fake fake ko na masyado. Hindi ko na alam yung difference ng totoong saya at saya na ipinapakita ko lang kase kailangan. Wala rin naman akong obligasyon na ipaliwanag ang sarili sa kahit na sino kase hindi naman lahat ng tao kayang umintindi at umunawa. Parati na lang akong hindi okay. Kinakain ako ng sariling takot at awa sa sarili. Puro doubts. Ang hirap i-meet ng expectations nila sayo. Nakakatakot mag-fail lalo na at ikaw yung inaasahan ng mga tao sa paligid mo. At minsan kahit gaano pa kalaki yung nagawa mo para sa iba at nagiging selfless ka na, hindi pa rin talaga sapat. Mga tao nga naman, laging naghahanap ng sobra. Hindi marunong makuntento. Kaya madalas tinatanong ko na lang ang sarili ko, may purpose pa ba ako? Hindi ko na kase nakikita ang halaga ko sa kahit na sino.. Sukong suko na ‘ko. Kaso naisip ko, pwedeng mapagod. Okay lang kase pwedeng magpahinga at magrefresh. Pero bawal SUMUKO. Ganyan lang ang buhay. Hindi titigil nang dahil lang sa ‘kin.

Pag tapos ng isang buong gabi ng pagdadalamhati at pag-iisip ng lahat ng nangyayari ngayon sa buhay ko, tayo ulit. Kinabukasan, ngiti ulit na parang walang nangyari at sasabihin ko sa sarili, 'Courage ellaine, courage. Matatapos din lahat ng pinagdadaanan mo ngayon.'

08/17/14 8:54 pm


sprwmngmlnd:

Kainis. Dapat may moment na kami kanina ni dan kaso hinila ako ng kaibigan ko. May gagawin daw sa org kainis. Hahahaha! Di ko tuloy nakausap :( Pero nung mga bandang 2 siguro, lumapit siya samin tas kinausap ko na hahaha. Kase pinapagawa ko siya ng message para sa kaibigan kong may birthday last sat. Ade ayun, kiligs. Pogi eh. Pangit nga lang sulat kainis hahahahaha. Makahusga eh no hahaha. Basta ayun, nung sinurprise namin yung friend namin, nagkakatinginan kami kaso nahihiya ako kaya iwas tingin. Feeling ko nga nagbblush ako nyeta hahahaha kainis talaga. Bat ganon ano kayang naiisip niya kapag nagkikita kami hu walang kwenta to :(


I keep myself busy all the time but when I stop doing things, that’s actually the time where I can’t think of anybody but you.

18 Notes Posted: 1 month ago / sprwmngmlnd Tags: daniel  

Isa siya sa mga taong nagpapaligaya sakin at the same time eh kayang manakit sakin without any word. Waht. Sobrang naapektuhan talaga ako nung malaman kong taken na sya ulit pero napasaya na naman niya ako kanina :) After ng first class ko nakita ko agad siya, ang gandang salubong. Tho tinanguhan lang niya ako, nalungkot man ako nang sobra at sabi ko pa last na approach ko na yun, binawi naman niya nung lunch time. Sumugod ako sa ulan non para hanapin si Allan sa gazebo ng coc. Wala akong payong, tas bigla siyang sumigaw, "Ellaine! Umuulan oh." Napangiti ako. Pakiramdam ko kase may pake siya sakin :) Awww. Ayaw kong umasa pero bakit ba, masama bang kiligin hahaha. Tas andon lang sila ng friends mo and blockmates. After namin bumili sa canteen don, namomroblema ako kase wala akong payong. Tas may payong yung isa kong friend na blockmate niya. Mahirap i-explain eh basta ang end up eh pinayungan at hinatid niya ako sa entrance ng coc para di ako mabasa. Haha. Ang gentleman talaga niya kahit na kelan. Kakiligs. Naalala ko nung GA nung Mulat, inalalayan din niya ako habang may hawak ako ng mono blocs pababa ng hagdan. Tas masaya ako non kase binoto niya ako sa election ampots. Wala lang. Masaya lang ako. Binuo na naman niya yung araw ko. 


Eto yung mga times na naggroup chat kami para sa GA ng org. Eh si dan yung taga-edit namin eh. Ang galing kase. Sya yung taga-gawa ng posters and tarps namin pag may event. Eh may typo dun sa ginawa niya. So tinext ko na kung pwede sana ulitin niya. Hindi ako nireplyan. Pero nung mga bandang gabi na, sinend niya yung revised edition sa group. Nakakatuwa. Siguro wala lang load kaya di nakareply. Usually kase nagrereply yun pag nagtetext ako :) Eh sabi bigla ng isa kong kaorg, napost na yung dapat ipost kaya hindi na kailangan pero sabi ko naman gamitin pa din kase sayang yung effort. Tas ayan inasar nako ng president ng org nyeta. Pero kinikilig ako deep inside. Hahahaha! Yun nga lang, it’s masakit kase magkakapatid daw kami sa mulat. At bawal yung relationship sa loob ng org. Nyayyyy :))))))) Anyways, naalala ko lang, lagi kaming shini-ship na dalawa. Nung nag-strat plan din. Kami na lang yung natitira sa isang activity. Nakapiring kami non tas nagkabungguan kami. Nag-‘ayiee’ silang lahat tas hinawakan ko pa kamay kase natatakot ako non huhu. Pero wala pa akong feelings sa kanya noon :)))) Wala lang. Naalala ko lang. 

Eto yung mga times na naggroup chat kami para sa GA ng org. Eh si dan yung taga-edit namin eh. Ang galing kase. Sya yung taga-gawa ng posters and tarps namin pag may event. Eh may typo dun sa ginawa niya. So tinext ko na kung pwede sana ulitin niya. Hindi ako nireplyan. Pero nung mga bandang gabi na, sinend niya yung revised edition sa group. Nakakatuwa. Siguro wala lang load kaya di nakareply. Usually kase nagrereply yun pag nagtetext ako :) Eh sabi bigla ng isa kong kaorg, napost na yung dapat ipost kaya hindi na kailangan pero sabi ko naman gamitin pa din kase sayang yung effort. Tas ayan inasar nako ng president ng org nyeta. Pero kinikilig ako deep inside. Hahahaha! Yun nga lang, it’s masakit kase magkakapatid daw kami sa mulat. At bawal yung relationship sa loob ng org. Nyayyyy :))))))) Anyways, naalala ko lang, lagi kaming shini-ship na dalawa. Nung nag-strat plan din. Kami na lang yung natitira sa isang activity. Nakapiring kami non tas nagkabungguan kami. Nag-‘ayiee’ silang lahat tas hinawakan ko pa kamay kase natatakot ako non huhu. Pero wala pa akong feelings sa kanya noon :)))) Wala lang. Naalala ko lang. 


I always thought that when I met the one, I would know. That the second we locked eyes, my heart would beat uncontrollably and I wouldn’t know what to do with my shaking hands. But when I met him, I was calm. I was confident. I was not nervous. Everything came so easily. Isn’t that how love should be? Simple and honest. Maybe it shouldn’t be a series of adrenaline pumping events so intense that your body cannot handle the stress of loving someone so deeply. It should be something that just fills your insides with warmth, and provides you with an overall sense of content. When you meet the one, maybe you don’t know he is the one. Maybe that’s okay.

i didn’t know it when i met you


Matangkad, mabait, gentleman, matalino, may sense of humor, mahaba yung pasensya, hinawakan yung kamay ko, binoto ako sa election, inalalayan pa ako sa pagbaba ng hagdan kanina habang dala yung mono blocs, ideal man.. kaso taken. Tangina minsan iniisip ko kung may galit ba sakin yung mundo. Lahat kase ng taong nagugustuhan ko taken. Kelan ba ako makakahanap ng lalaki na ako yung unang babaeng mamahalin? Ang sakit talaga nyeta, nakakapanghina, unti-unting winasak yung pangarap ko hays. Pero de, hayaan na. Tatanggapin ko na lang. God moves in mysterious or whtvr. Ayaw kong pangunahan. Kung para sakin, para sakin. Kung hindi, meron pang magandang mangyayari. Yaaaas.


10 Things I had to learn by myself (my mother never taught me):

i. Blame the person who hurts you, not yourself. Never blame yourself for not being what they wanted or not being “good enough.” You are made with perfectly flawed traits, stitched together to be loved unconditionally.

ii. Not everyone you love will love you back and the people who do love you, you won’t always reciprocate the feelings. But that doesn’t make them or you a bad person. You can’t love everyone and not everyone will love you. I refuse to blame the people that can’t find it in their soul to give me what I give them. I don’t give to get back. I give because I want to and because I can.

iii. Don’t let one person tell you negative things about yourself. One opinion out of a million does not make you who you are. No one paints a masterpiece for you, you are the art piece. You make who you are. You are the artist.

iv. Don’t ever settle. People always feel safer with things that they are used to and comfortable with instead of seeking for the heart pounding feelings and moments that take their breaths away. I never want it to be easy; I want it to be hard to breathe and suffocating when I give something my all. I want to learn how to survive through that.

v. Learn how to say no. No, I do not want to dance with you. No, I do not want to kiss you. No, I do not want to date you. No, I do not want to do this. No, I do not want to do that. Because that does not make me happy and that does not make me feel comfortable, so no. And I don’t need to give you a reason nor do I need to make up an excuse to say “no.”

vi. There are different kinds of people. Don’t always catergorize people in groups because people are not meant to be labelled. Just because one person hurts you, does not mean the ones in the future will. Just because one person holds a knife doesn’t mean the next one will use it. There is good out there; there is good in the world and there is good in people. Not everyone is a monster. I strongly believe that majority of the population is good.

vii. Do not let the past prevent you from living in the future. Do not let the pain and hurt take over. Don’t close yourself up to others just because you have been broken before. Never allow the demons of yesterday to control the beauty that is to come in the future. Vow to never allow it to always be stormy for the sun does eventually shine down on all things beautiful. I am beautiful, and so are you.

viii. You can swim across the world for someone but they might not even step outside in the drizzle for you. Even if you hold the umbrella for them.

ix. Never give someone the power to rid you of yourself. Don’t ever fall out of your routine or lose who you are permanently. That is so important.

x. Love yourself. Learn to love the birthmark on your face, the chipmunk cheeks, the thighs that jiggle when you walk, the nose you think is too flat, and your fingers that are too short. Learn to appreciate your almond shaped eyes, your skin color, the thin hair that doesn’t grow fast, the beauty mark above your lips, and the small gap between your teeth. Learn to love your sense of humor, your laughter, your emotions, your tendency to trust easily, and how happy you always are. Learn to love the way you love others deeply, how you sometimes fear being lonely, the way you enjoy walks alone, and the radiance in your soul. Learn to love yourself at 3AM when you cannot sleep and can only think of the skeletons hiding in your own closets and learn to love yourself at 3PM when you are cranky and unable to get out of bed. Learn to love yourself and come to terms with the fact that you are you, and that will never change.

Ming D. LiuA Story A Day #147  


1 2 3 4 5